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This house-trained B) little fly was assisting me in cleaning the worktops in my kitchen the other day.
What name will I put on its paycheck...

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I sent one of my underlings. 'Paul Beuk' on the cheque will do quite nicely, but you can also use the Paypal DONATE button. :D

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I thought it was on of yours..had to go over it again, made a right mess. Had a nasty turn at the thought of sending money, suddenly found a strange urge to go online and buy some Pipe Band music, wear a kilt and drink Malt Whisky whilst eating shortbread.
This was thankfully cured by listening to Audioslave playing Cochise at very loud volume, so loud that I have knackered the Subwoofer on my Sound System and several panes of double glazing in my windows.
The Subwoofer is a REL Stratus (£750), the cost of new window panes I will have to get estimate for, letter to follow from my Lawyers..(Woodstein and Dickstein). As you can appreciate this is starting to add up to quite a considerable sum that you are due me in damages. There may be additional costs should I injure myself whilst delivering a Glasgow Kiss.
I remain your humble servant
Hector MacTavish....it's happening again :o:o

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Seeing as it's your thread this time Roger, I'll take another swing: Fannia canicularis female.

What are the odds on my getting a right answer one day by chance?

Stephen (trainee sclaterscrae)

(I might have got there even without the heavy hint B))

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You forgot to read the small print on the edge of the wing: "Use at your own risk!" :D

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Thanks Stephen...just gave me a relapse, will have to make the posts a bit more cryptic in future..far too easy.
Dear Dr. Beuk
Have been in contact with our client Roger Thomason regarding damage caused to his property following threats made in regard of monies to be..Hang on...He has just been on the telephone withdrawing these allegations, the Subwoofers fuse had blown and he had a hair on the lense of his glasses, so the window units are not cracked. He would appear to be under the influence of alcohol, although it was hard to understand him as he appeared to be eating biscuits and speaking with a strong Scottish accent, and calling himself Hector MacTavish. Do you know this idiot.
Yours Woodstein...Woodstein Dickstein Assoc.

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This Hector MacTavish? :o

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No...this was a guy about 6ft. tall...210 Lb, with long hair and a beard...going a bit grey, and he was wearing glasses. He was walking with a limp, said something about a nice looking Physiotherapist who had been giving him a rub-down or something.
He was wearing a Tartan Hat with a red wig and he called everybody Jimmy, Ugly Bastard.
Was looking for some Dutch guy called Paul.
Strong smell of cheap whisky or something, and bits of biscuits in his beard.
Wouldn't like to meet that Mother on a dark night.
That one in the photo would run from this guy.
Thank you for calling..Have a nice day.
WOODSTEIN